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If she doesn’t identify as being a lesbian (or someone who is romantically attracted to women), and you feel a more-than-friends connection, you might still be right. Which of course can be super awk, but only if you let it. "This is kind of hard to talk about right now because my feelings for my straight best friend are very powerful in the way that girl best friendships typically are.(Disclaimer: There really aren’t any rules if you’re dating the right person.) So now that I’m married to a woman, and I’m still basically an expert at being terrible at dating, I’ve rounded up some of the questions I was afraid to ask when I first started dating a woman. It’s never fun to live a lie, but if you’re still figuring this part of yourself out, there’s no rush to tell anyone. I made some sort of joke (because that’s what I do), and then probably said, “Haha, no but seriously.” 10. I don’t necessarily know the right answers, if there even are right answers, but I know what worked for me. Exton: Four years ago, the online dating industry was very different.At the time, I was looking at all these companies and thinking about what was happening in the straight world for dating.I drove around Jake’s block three times, stalling until my little queer heart didn’t feel like it was going to fall out of my little queer ass. We did quite alright that night and I now find myself not only sleeping regularly with a cis-man but dating one. The more I move through this world as a queer woman dating a straight, cis-man, the more others like me come out of the sexually fluid closet. The good news is, a penis and a vagina are all the same parts, just organized differently. In the five months I’ve been dating my cis-boyfriend, I’ve taken just as many negative pregnancy tests, despite our religious condom-use. Sometimes I miss the variety of my dildos - the fun colors, the special features. Make sure you’re sharing your bed with someone who shares your sensibilities - that they respect your pronouns, identifiers, and sexual practices and preferences. I’m queer.” to yourself in your head, when you walk through life holding your cis-male partner’s hand, your attempts at making meaningful eye contact with the only other queer couple at the party are failed, or your boyfriend’s friends are left scratching their heads all “I dunno man, I think Patrick’s girlfriend might be gay”. Drop stories about your ex-wife and ex-girlfriend like little head-scratching bombs at every single straight-saturated party you attend with your cis-dude. But who ever said being queer and partnered with cis-men was easy?

I have dated gay and bi girls in the past, and I consider myself bi.Newsflash: women can be selfish, mean and deceitful too. The hard bit about relationships isn’t the gender of the person you’re with, it’s being vulnerable, losing the love you once had, or having your trust broken.If you walk into lesbianism believing that everyone is going to take care of you and your feelings, I suggest you cover yourself in honey and spend a night in the forest, honey, ‘cause them bears gonna be kinder to you. She probably has hair dyed green and some piercings or a secret tattoo. She probably runs a feminist fanzine called Cuntissimo, Pussymposium, or Poclitico.We have an incredibly close friendship, make jokes about being a married couple all the time, but she has no idea that sometimes I think about her in a deeper way.The confusing part is that those deeper feelings come and go and are super fleeting.

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